The Night of the Ball Shaving

     To be honest, when a group of my friends wanted to come over to my house and get drunk, I kinda dreaded it. I am the oldest in my group, and so at times, I just want to curl up in bed with a book and read for a while before going to sleep early. My friends, on the other hand enjoy playing beer pong in my garage until 4:00am and on this particular night, I obliged. 

     At the beginning of the evening, one of my friends, named Jay*, wanted to have his hair cut. So we got a shaver, and cut it for him. (I say we, because it was a group effort.) Thinking nothing of it, we left the shaver sitting on the freezer in my garage, and carried on with our evening. 

     After several hours of beer pong, and just drinking in general, most of the people at my house were drunk, especially one of our friends named Mack*. Mack was continuously peeing in my back yard, and showing us all his butt. When I walked outside and saw his butt for about the third time that evening, I didn't think much of it until I heard the whir of the shaver and saw him hold up a large clump of curly whirlies!  

     He then proceeded to throw his pubes on my garage floor. I glared and him and then explained to him that there was no way in HELL that I was going to clean up his pubes, and that he had better get to sweepin!  He swept them out the garage door, and into my backyard, which was still quite irritating to me, since my daughter and dog play out there, but I decided not to bitch at the drunk guy too terribly much and resolved to sweep them up properly in the morning. 

     The next day, I completely forgot to sweep up the pubes in question. I was sitting outside on my back deck, when I see a bird fly down to the ground, pick up a clump of Mack's pubes, and fly into a nest in my gutter. Now we have a pube nest in our backyard, with a momma bird sitting on some eggs. So I guess Mack helped the environment in some weird kind of way.




*All names have been changed to protect our friends who may get pissed.